


love is a game (and i wish i was winning)

by banewoodss



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Pining Jisung, nielsungweek, oblivious Daniel, they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-18 14:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16996800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banewoodss/pseuds/banewoodss
Summary: And it was for moments like these  that Jisung started to think that he really needed to learn how to say no to Daniel;or: how Yoon Jisung found himself in a couple competition with no one less than his best friend.





	love is a game (and i wish i was winning)

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!  
> idk what i had in mind when i thought about doing this, but it sounded fun and the girls from rwps gc helped me so i decided to give it a try.  
> it was supposed to be a short fic but somehow it ended up with 9k words hahahaha.  
> and forgive me for the typos, there'll probably be a lot. ksldçrhlçskdh  
> anyways, this is my little cheap contribution for nielsung week, i hope you guys don't hate it. <3  
> enjoy!

It’s Valentine’s Day. The period of the year where love is in the air and chocolate in the vitrines.

 

In theory Valentine’s Days was supposed to be Jisung’s favorite holiday. It had everything he loved: Chocolate, cute red adornings all over the streets, romcoms playing the entire week on TV and for the whole day people were simply nice to each other. It’s the period of the year where you can receive and give love without needing an excuse to it. Valentine’s Days is the simple celebration of love and for a long time Jisung thought that it was just beautiful.

But after three years of being single as fuck, seeing all those couples being lovey dovey with each other in the middle of the shopping center just made him want to puke and he had hold himself not to punch the face of all those people he heard calling their significant other “babe” in a cute tone.

He wasn’t proud of if, but that’s what happens when you stay alone for such a long time: you become grumpy and bitter.

And it was with this kinda of mood that Jisung was walking at the shopping center, trying to avert all the couples he sees as he thinks about which series he should binge watch on Netflix when he gets home.

Maybe a horror movie? Until night he’d decide.

“Jisung hyung, look. They have it here.” A husky excited voice call his name, taking him out of his thoughts and making him lift his head to look at the man ahead of him.

And that’s bring us to the real question: Why in the holy hell would Jisung, a very single man, on Valentine’s Day decides to come to a shopping center? The dwelling of so many hopeless in love couples?

The answer was in the smile of the blonde man right in front of him.

Because today wasn’t only Valentine’s Day but also the release of the favorite game of his best friend Kang Daniel. And of course Daniel didn’t want to go by himself, he had to drag Jisung with him too.

And of course Jisung couldn’t say no to him.

“Will you buy it here?” He stops next to his friend, who had his eyes stuck on the vitrine. Jisung holds a fond smile when he notices how mesmerized Daniel looked at the game at the other side of the glass. It always amazed him seeing how Daniel got so happy with the simplest things.

“I don’t know. I think it’s a little too expensive here, I might find it cheaper in another store.” Daniel replies with a contemplative face and by the knot on his forehead Jisung knew he was thinking hard.

“Do you want to keep searching then?” He offers and Daniel finally take his eyes from the vitrine to look at him.

“Would you mind?” Daniel asks unsure, clearly worried if he was taking too much of Jisung’s time. “We’ve been here for a couple hours already.”

“It’s ok, Niel.” Jisung says with a reassuring smile on his face. “But let’s eat first. I’m starving.”

“Ok, then. Let’s go.” The blonde then throws one of his brightest smiles and naturally grabs Jisung’s hand to drag him to the food court. And as simple as the gesture was, it was enough to make the Jisung’s heart fails a beat and bite his lower lip hard to hold a wheeze.

Because here’s another thing about Valentine’s Days: It sucks when you’re single. But it sucks even more when you’re single _and_ in love.

Add in love _with your best friend_ and the sucking just triplicates.

But here was Jisung, hanging out on Valentine’s Days with the said best friend, who had no idea about his feelings.

It’s messed up, he knows that. If some people (also known as Ha Sungwoon) saw him, they’d even say it’s unhealthy. But after years being friends, Jisung unlearned how to say no to Daniel, he just couldn’t, it was really impossible.

That’s why as Daniel brings Jisung closer and puts his arm around his shoulders to make them walk side by side, the latter takes a deep soundless breath and tells himself to endure it just a little bit more.

  


\----------

  


The food court was more crowned than normal. It was noisy because of the all the chatting from different groups and there were almost no free tables available for them to sit. In all the years visiting that shopping center Jisung had never seen it so full of people.

He was about to give up searching for tables and telling Daniel to let them go to another place when he felt the grip on his hand (at some point Daniel grabbed his hand again so they wouldn’t get lost in the crowd) tightening.

“Hyung, look.” The blonde calls Jisung’s attention and uses his free hand to point at some place ahead of them. Jisung follows Daniel’s finger and lays his eyes where it was pointed.

A few meters ahead of them there were a well dressed man holding a mic while standing in an improvised stage in the middle of the food court.

“What the hell?” That’s the only thing Jisung could ask after seeing the man nervously looking at the cards on his hands while he tried to not let his mic fall.

“Maybe they’ll be holding some kind of special event.” Daniel replies nonchalantly, his eyes wandering through the space in search for a table to sit. “Let’s go, I’ve found a free spot.”

Jisung let himself be dragged by Daniel and focus on listening to what the guy at the stage was about to say, the whole situation was quite unusual and to have gather that many people on a mere food court it was because something interesting would probably happen.

“Good afternoon folks.” The well dressed man speaks in a way too energetic tone. “To celebrate Valentine’s Days we’ve decided to organize a special event for you all. I hope you stay with us till the end.”

“Told ya.” Daniel smirks full of yourself while sitting beside Jisung at the table he’s found. The latter throws a small smile to him, acknowledging the blonde’s good guess.

“Sherlock Kang indeed.” He says and the sound of Daniel’s laugh reverberates through the air at the simple joke.

“Are you Watson then?” Daniel jokes back, mentioning the name of Sherlock’s best friend (and love of his live if Jisung could add).

“Nope. I want to be Moriarty” Jisung says raising his chin in a mocking way, if it was to be a character then it would better be a badass one. But that just get an even louder laugh from Daniel, who throws his head back and clap his hand like someone just told him the biggest joke. And even if he didn’t find it funny, the sound of the blonde laughing is so contagious that Jisung has to try hard not to laugh too.

“No you’re not.” The youngster replies with an incredulous frown, the same playful smirk resting on his lips.

“I could be.” The latter pouts, acting like he was offended.

“You’re way too cute to be Moriarty, hyung.” Daniel simply says and Jisung cant’t help but feel his cheeks burning at the sudden statement.

This was one of the troublesome things about Kang Daniel. He’d always say something that’d make Jisung’s heart flutter, and he wouldn’t even notice.

“L-Let’s order.” Jisung stutters looking at the menu of one of the stores, trying his best to ignore the warmth on his face. He felt embarrassed for being called cute by Daniel but he felt even more embarrassed for reacting that way. For god’s sake, he’s not a teenager, what was him blushing for?

  


A comfortable silence falls between them while they decide what they would eat. In the background they could hear the MC back to talking:

“How well do you know your significant other? Let’s test!” The man says and the crowd screams excitedly in response. “This is a competition between couples, the winner gets a five hundred dollars card gift to spend with whatever you want, wherever you decide. Who’s in?”

“What a bullshit.” Jisung scoffs under his breath, a mocking grin on his lips. That’s just what he needed to finish his day: seeing couples being lovey-dovey _on a stage_. He was about to comment that with Daniel when he raises his head and look at him. But by the look on the blonde’s face, Jisung figured out his friend wasn’t thinking the same. Daniel’s expression was bright, his eyebrows were arched, his eyes sparkled and a huge shit eating grin adorned his beautiful lips. It was the kinda of expression he does when he has a horrible idea but think it’s a great one.

He had something in mind.

That wasn’t good.

“Niel, no.” Jisung reprimands pointing a finger at Daniel, already predicting what the youngster was thinking.

“Hyung let’s join!” Daniel says excitedly anywaysand Jisung makes a physical effort not to face palm at his words.

He knew it.

“Of course no!” Jisung hisses, looking at Daniel with widened eyes, as if he was asking if he was really serious.

“Why? It’s five hundred dollars on the game!”

“Do I need to state the obvious? We’re not dating!” Jisung exclaims as he tries to put some sense into Daniel’s mind and choosing to ignore the prick on his chest when he says the words. He doesn’t even know why it hurts; it’s been like this since forever.

“Well they don’t need to know that.” The blonde simply shrugs unbothered, as if the whole idea wasn’t terrible. He wasn’t seeing the situation as Jisung. He was only thinking about the money. As always he was too oblivious about his surroundings.

It would be funny if it wasn’t tragic.

“Niel, stop for a minute and listen to what are you saying.”

“I know what I’m saying and I’m serious.”

“You can’t be.”

“I am! Hyung, they’ll just ask simple questions about us. I know everything about you and I’m sure you know some stuffs about me. I’m 100% sure we can beat those couples!”

“Daniel please.”

“Think about the money hyung. I could buy my game, you know. And you could buy that new projector you want so bad.” The blonde tries to persuade, a serious expression on his face as tries to prove his point.

“Yes but...”

“It’s worth a try, we have nothing to lose.” Sure, nothing except Jisung’s sanity.

But who cares, right?

“Please?” Daniel asks softly, giving Jisung the best puppy eyes he could put and the latter deeply sighs at the vision.

Yeah, he’s lost that battle. He really doesn’t know why he even tries.

“You owe me a feast after this.” Jisung replies weakly seconds later and Daniel almost screams in delight, jumping on Jisung to wrap him on his arms.

“That’s my hyung!” Daniel says with a huge beam, and he looked so happy that Jisung almost forgets in what he had put himself into.

He quickly comes back to reality when he feels the blonde getting close to his ear to playfully whisper “Or should I say babe?”

  


Yep, he was fucked.

  


  


\-----------

 

It was actually easier than Jisung thought to subscribe for the competition. When they got next to the stage, there was a small girl with forms on her hands. They only had to fill the forms with personal information about themselves and that’s it.

Apparently there weren’t many couples brave enough to join the competition so ten minutes later Jisung and Daniel were sitting on the stage along four more couples.

“Shall we start the game?” The MC asked and the crowd screamed in excitement. Jisung deeply sighs, thinking about how the hell he ended up where he was now. Meanwhile Daniel excitedly clapped his hands with a huge grin on his face, finding the whole situation very entertaining.

The first thing the MC asks is to the couples to introduce themselves. Starting by the other extremity, a young blonde girl takes the microphone and shyly starts talking about how she and her boyfriend were together only for four months (“but it feels longer” the boyfriend said) and waits for response of the crowd. After a round of applause the MC pass for the other couple and it went on like this. When it is their turn Daniel quickly takes the microphone and starts talking with the highest pitch tone Jisung had ever heard on him:

“Hi! I’m Kang Daniel and this is my _boo_ Yoon Jisung.” Daniel starts and Jisung almost chokes at the nickname.

_Boo?_

He looks at Daniel with theside of his eyes and he can clearly sees the effort the blonde was making to not let the corners of his mouth quirks up in a smile.

The bastard sure was having fun.

“We’ve been together for three years now.”

The exactly amount of time Jisung’s been single.

Fucking Kang Daniel.

“And we’ll win this competition, be ready!” The blonde finishes loudly and the crowd once again screams in delight.

After this they’re hand a mini white board and a pen to write and then the MC explains the rules. It was pretty simple:  He would ask a question for one person of the couple and if that person answers it correctly then it’s given a point. The couple with most points at the end of the game wins.

 

“First let’s start with something easy.” The MC starts and says the name of the people who should answer the question. At the call of his name Daniel straight up his posture and prepare himself to write down the answer. “When’s your significant other’s birthday?”

“Eeeeey.” The blonde sneers, already writing down the date on the board. “That’s too easy.”

At the count of three all the couples turn their white boards to show the answer. Daniel, obviously get it right, answering the same date Jisung’s put on his board.

This was indeed too easy. They both had spent too many birthdays together. To the point where they even had a tradition: Daniel is always the first one to wish him happy birthday. That includes the blonde almost every year knocking at his door at midnight just to say it first. At this point, on the night of march 7th to 8th Jisung just let his door open so the youngster wouldn’t bother ringing the bell. So once in the year, Jisung and Daniel would eat cake during midnight and watch Jisung’s current favorite movie, they’d always end up falling sleep on the couch before the movie finishes and sometimes Jisung would wake up with a pain on his shoulder because Daniel is way too heavy to lay on him, but even though this was one of Jisung’s favorite days of the year.

 

Besides them, all the other couples also answered right and everyone earned a point.

Now it was Jisung’s time to answer.

“What do they do on their free time?” The MC asks and Jisung thinks for the exact amount of five seconds before the answer comes to his mind. Apparently that was too much time to think because soon enough Daniel throw him an inquiry look, as if he was asking him something. Jisung just look at him back and mouths an “I know.” as he starts writing down. 

At the count of three both of them turns their boards revealing the answer. Daniel’s face lighten up when he sees that both of them wrote ‘Dance’.

This time not all of them answer it correctly, the four months couples get it wrong and the shy blonde girl sulks very hard at her boyfriend.

“Jisung-ssi, I see that you answered it really quickly. You must be confident.” The MC asks suddenly and someone from the staff pass a mic to Jisung. He didn’t want to answer, but everyone was staring him and waiting for him to say something. 

“Well, that’s only because he always does this, not only on his free time. I don’t even know how he’s not dancing right now.” He jokes and hears the MC and all the crowd suddenly laughs. When he look at his side, he eyes Daniel staring at him with a huge beam on his face. He smiles back, the familiar warmth that that expression always gives him filling his chest. 

The next question was for Daniel. The dancer high fived Jisung when they got the answer right.  It wasn’t a hard question though, it was easy to know what food he hated.

Jisung really couldn’t stand carrots.

“Which is kinda ironic since I love carrots.” Daniel says when the MC once again requires a comment from them. “I always end up eating all the carrots from his plate when we eat together.” 

“A perfect match we could say.” The host said and the crowd goes ‘aaaaaw’ together, making Daniel and Jisung laugh at their reaction. They both turned their heads to each other exactly at the same time and laughed again at how synchronized they were. 

They really looked like a perfect match.

As funny as it was, the sudden thought made an unsettling sensation grows on Jisung’s stomach, and he quickly forced himself to ignore it.

 _None of this_ _is_ _real_ , he reminds himself. _You’re not a couple, he’s not in love with you._

He had to go back to reality.

  


“What do your significant other do when they’re feeling sad?” The host asks, now it was Daniel’s turn to answer. The blonde take his time to think about it. He rest the pen on his plump lips, looking rather contemplative, but his face brights up when he finally thinks about the right answer. He quickly writes down the answer and when it’s time to show it he happily turn his board to show what he’s written: ‘Watch movies with me.’

“Jisung-ssi, is that correct?” The host asks and Jisung slowly turn his own board.

“Yep.” He says with a grin on his face while showing the ‘Watch movies with Daniel’ written on his own board. The blonde almost jumps out of his chair when he sees he got the answer right, and Jisung just gives him a small acknowledging nod. This was pretty easy for Jisung too, he didn’t know why it took Daniel some time to get it right. It was the blonde the one who always brought a pen drive with a random independent movie and a bag of popcorn to Jisung’s house whenever he noticed the latter wasn’t having a good day. Jisung has always considered himself pretty good at the art of pretending he was fine, but Daniel was always able detect if he was doing fine or not. How the blonde could read Jisung so easily is still a mystery to him.

  


“What’s your significant other is most afraid of?” The host asked after a while and a huge grin grows on Jisung’s mouth when he instantly thinks about the answer. The blonde guy besides him notices his odd behavior and decides to poke him with his elbow.

“What are you thinking?” Daniel whispers and Jisung just give him a quick glance before going back to writing.

“Just answer it, dumbass.” Jisung whispers back, a mocking grin adorning his lips. “And be honest.” He points a finger to Daniel, adverting him to tell the truth, Daniel just throws a confused frown to him before going back to his own board.

At the count of three both of them turn their boards and Jisung couldn’t hold the big laugh that comes out of his mouth when he sees that Daniel hesitantly wrote ‘bugs’ as the answer.

“I KNEW IT.” The latter exclaims stills laughing, showing the same answer on his board to Daniel. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you finally admitted it.”  He says in delight and he would have continued laughing if he hadn’t notice the pout on Daniel’s lips. The blonde was sulking. Jisung wipes the tears of joy off his eyes and raises his hand to rest it on Daniel’s thigh and softly massages it. “Come on, don’t be sulky. You did a great job.” He tries in a soft tone and seconds later Daniel slowly smiles again at him.

“I knew you would put this as the answer, that’s the only reason I’ve written it too.” Daniel whispers close to the latter’s ears and Jisung laughs once again, this time a little weaker. Of course he wouldn’t admit it that easily. “I’m not afraid of bugs, I just don’t like them.”

“Of course. Whatever you say, babe.” Jisung says giving a reassuring tap on the youngster’s thigh and he laughs once again when he sees the way Daniel’s eyes widens at how Jisung called him ‘babe’. 

He had his revenge now. 

  


T he next question was about their favorite food, which for no one’s surprise Daniel answer s correctly, and whisper s to Jisung’s ears he would buy them dakbal after this.

After this the host asks the contestants how they made up after a fight and it was almost comic how fast Daniel and Jisung wrote the answer in the board. That was an easy one for them, it involved the thing they both loved the most in the world.

“Food?” The MC asks intrigued after reading their answers and Daniel takes the liberty to reply.

“Honestly, no matter how much we bicker we always make up after eating.” The blonde explains and Jisung huffs at how silly yet so true that statement were. He remembers all the times they argued about something unimportant. Instead of talking about it after, Jisung would just tell Daniel to eat with him. And between Daniel offering him food and eating and chatting together, they’d just forget about what they even fought in the beginning. It was simple like that.

  


The game went on smoothly well after this. Daniel and Jisung answered almost every question correctly and at each comment they’d make the crowd cheer for them both. There was only one single couple that was an actual match for them, and Daniel already said that by the end of the game they’d beat them. There weren’t a couple more powerful than them.

It felt  kinda strange to see how convinc ing they were.  Everyone w ere really believing they were a couple and some of them were actually cheering for them (like _really_ cheering, Jisung swear s he heard someone screaming “NIELSUNG  I LOVE YOU !” somewhere in the crowd)

The strangest thing laid in the fact that they actually were _not_ acting.

Not  at all. 

All the answers they gave were true and all the comments they made were real  (At least for Jisung.) 

T hey were exactly like a couple, but with none of the benefits that comes with this kind of relationship.

That realization just made Jisung thinks how things were way more fucked up than he thought it were.

  


At that point of the competition, most of the couples were way behind them and there was only that married old couple who they think it had the same amount of points of them. They had lost the count of the points after the fifth question, they didn’t know neither cared anymore. They just wanted to win.

Now it was a competition between them and the old couple, and Daniel was ready to pick the fight.

“Let’s finish them and buy that danm game hyung.” The blonde says in a low tone next to Jisung’s ears, stretching his arms as if he was getting ready for a physical fight.

“ _And_ my projector” Jisung adds, at least something good he had to take out off this whole mess.

“Of course, love.” Daniel answers, the last word leaving his mouth so easily that Jisung almost doesn’t notice it.

He does though. And it sounded so right that he once again had to remind his beating heart that none of this were real and that they were just pretending.

“Ok, that’s a question for Jisung and Sakura.” The MC announced, at this point of the competition the other couples were so behind that it was irrelevant to mention their names. “Name an old habit of your boyfriend.”

Jisung frowned his brows at the question, trying to think about any specific habit of Daniel. The boy sure had a lot of habits but Jisung couldn’t figure out which one Daniel would write as an answer.

He could write that Daniel laughs for nothing, he could write that he can’t stay still for more than a minute, he could write about that infuriating habit of biting any pen he put his hands on or even the habit of not keeping his hands for himself, always touching something or someone.

Really, he could go on like this for the entire day.

The problem of the question wasn’t the lack of knowledge about Daniel but quite the opposite.

The brunette takes a quick glance at Daniel, examining the younger in search for something he hasn’t notice or for a clue about what he’s going to write on his expression. The blonde was also frowning hard while thinking, Jisung knew it was easy for Daniel to talk about his friends, but the boy had no clue when it comes to knowing about himself.

On the other side, the old married couple seemed relaxed. The woman was looking at both of them with a mocking smile on her lips, as if she was telling them how bad they were. For some reason that pissed Jisung off and he was hit by an urge to prove her wrong, whatever that meant.

He’d win that shit.

He looked at Daniel who was writing on his board one more time and as he observed the way the boy was moving restless on his chair, something popped on Jisung’s mind.

“I got it.” He affirmed with a confident smile on his face and started writing what he had on mind on his board.

On the count of three both of the couples turn their board and shows it to the crowd. The couple besides then screams in delight when they see they got the answer right. Meanwhile Daniel moans in frustration when he notices that for the first time in the day they got it wrong.

“Hyung, what the hell?” Daniel exclaims frustrated, turning his torso to look at Jisung with a pout on his lips.

“I’m the one supposed to say that, what to you mean grind your teeth?” Jisung protests,, staring Daniel with the same frustrated frown.

“That’s what I do, you know that!”

“Yeah, but you do this way more often.” The latter articulates, showing his own board to Daniel.

“Scratch my neck? I don’t do that!” Daniel replies defensive, his hands unconsciously raising to the level of his neck and nervously scratching it.

“You’re doing it right now, Niel-ah” Jisung points trying to hold his laugh, but it gets impossible when he sees Daniel quickly taking his hands out of his neck and looking at it like he was betrayed by his own body.

“Ok, maybe you’re right.” Daniel mumbles sounding defeated and Jisung just throws a mocking smiles to him, his chin proudly up.

“Of course I’m right, bae.” The latter says, teasing Daniel again, who this time just smiles bright at the nickname.

“You always are. Right, love?” The blonde replied, the same teasing yet lovable tone on his voice. That was slowly becoming an intern joke between them, calling each other by sweet nicknames just to hear how the crowd reacts.

The funniest part of it is that Jisung actually hated that kinda of affection demonstration, he despised it.

But somehow, when it was Daniel saying it didn’t sound that horrible, that bad.

As he cleans the wrong answer from his board, Jisung tries his best to ignore the discomfort increasing on the top of his stomach when the thought that this all was actually a big fat joke hit him hard again.

“And that was the last round, guys.” The host chanted and the crowd made a sad sound in response. “I know I know, you guys wanted to see more.” He continued with sorrow on his tone, as if he sympathized with the audience. “So as our staff calculates the points what about one last question?” The audience goes wild and the MC smiles brightly when he hears a round of applause.

“I hope we win this. Now I just want to rip the mocking smile off that woman’s face.” Jisung says under his breath, looking straight at that Sakura woman with fire on his eyes. The woman was looking down on him the entire competition, laughing when he talked and whispering something to her husband every time Daniel said something. Was she thinking they were better than him and Daniel? She was dead wrong then!

“Hyung calm down.” Daniel whispered next to his ear in a soft tone, and Jisung somehow could hear the smile on his voice. That, and the hand resting on his knee, soothe his rage and made him lift his head to look up to the man besides him. What he didn’t notice was the fact that their faces were already too close and as soon as he lifted his head the first thing he meet was a pair of round brownish eyes looking straight at him. The proximity catches Jisung out of surprise and his natural reaction is to move away and lower his head as he feels his entire face burn, his heart beating so fast that he almost doesn’t hear the screams of the audience (who obviously saw everything) and the husky laugh of Daniel besides him ( _what was he laughing for? Danm it._ )

But when he looks up again, he sees that despite the laughing, Daniel ear’s were in that bright red Jisung knew well that it got in that way when he was embarrassed.

So maybe he wasn’t the only one affected by the whole situation.

“For the last, but not least, question there will be no right answer.” The host announces once the audience goes quieter. “As we already now, this is a couple competition. So we’d like to know: Why do you love your significant other?” The MC asks in a low tone and the crowd goes suddenly silent, anticipating the contestants’ answers.

“This will probably be long.” Daniel starts after a moment, a cryptic grin adorning his lips and his eyes lookin anywhere but Jisung. “He’s a funny guy you know? He has that sense of humour that is quite uncommon but it makes me laugh until my stomach hurts. He’s also supportive, like in every kind of possible way. When I want to chat? He’s there. When I want to tell a joke that no one will ever laugh? He’s there. When I’m feeling down? Here’s also there. When I simply want company to search for a game that I like? Guess what? He’s there. He’s been always there for me, no matter what. He’s so present in my life that I really don’t know what I would be without him. And I don’t think I’ll ever want to know.” He finishes, finally turning his eyes to look at Jisung with a sparkle on his eyes that the latter couldn’t quite decipher. Jisung knew all of that was an act to win a prize, but the youngster’s words sounded so sincere that it hit Jisung straight in the chest and made his heart fails a beat. He looked back at Daniel who was looking quite apprehensive waiting for his answer, and Jisung felt so overwhelmed when a sudden wave of affection for the blonde hit him hard. And as he stared and him and thought about all the reasons he loved that man, only one answer sounded right to his mind.

“His existence alone brings peace to me.” Jisung simply says. It was quite short, but he couldn’t give a better answer. That was the pure truth. That was what Daniel was to him, his safe harbor, his anchor. If he ever felt insecure or sad, he would go to Daniel. If he was feeling happy, the first person he’d want to share his happiness with was Daniel. Sometimes the thought that he loved him so much hit him so hard that it’s almost impossible to bear. What he felt for Daniel was the kinda of love that crushed him and made his chest full but yet he felt so lonely, knowing he would never be loved the same way.

But he learned how to deal with this, how to live with that reality. Time taught him. He learned that sometimes there were things way more important than a romantic relationship. He convinced himself that if it was to keep Daniel in his life, he was more than fine with forgetting his own feelings, because someday, somehow, they’d vanish from Jisung’s heart.

At least that was what he thought and kept telling to himself.

But the fact that his heart was beating so strongly he could hear it on his ears was accurately proving him wrong. It wasn’t that easy to forget, and it was even harder to repress.

Jisung lifted his eyes to look at Daniel then, _really_ look at him. He stared at that brown shining eyes and prepared himself to say the words that were stuck on his throat for god knows how long. At a span of seconds Jisung comes to the conclusion that that would be the first and last opportunity he would have to say it, to take all those feelings out of his chest and finally say what he always wanted to say without the risk of ruining the friendship they had built over the years. He could just say what he wanted and later say it was for the contest, nothing serious. It wasn’t the scenario he had on mind when he thought about confessing but he had to work with what life gave to him. He had to take that chance. He’d say that only once and then he would finally be able move on.

And with his mind set this way, Jisung takes a deep breath and finally says “I love you so much sometimes it hurts.”

And it’s incredible how human anatomy’s works, really. Seconds after the words he’d said, Jisung sees something changing on Daniel’s face. His seconds earlier relaxed and amused expression turns into a deep frown, the kinda of frown he always did when he was deeply thinking about something. His eyes starts to wander from one side to another until it finally rests on Jisung, and suddenly, like something had popped inside his head, Daniel’s brows archs and his eyes grows as bigger as two balls, and he looks like someone had just told him the greatest secret of human’s history.

And this is the exact moment where Jisung starts to panic. Because Daniel face went from 0 to 11, and it terrorizes Jisung because he doesn’t know why. His mind starts to rush as he tries to think about a reason for such expression on Daniel’s face.

Perhaps he went to far on his confession? They weren’t supposed to say I love you?

Or worst, maybe he found out? Was Jisung too sincere? Was it to obvious he wasn’t telling a lie? What would Daniel do if he founds out that everything Jisung had just said was actually truth?

His mind starts to set different scenarios and panic rises inside Jisung at each one of them. The thought of losing Daniel because he wasn’t able to shut his damn mouth starts to terrorizes him in a way he didn’t know he it was possible to feel.

And that’s when he starts to run.

Like, literally run.

Just when Daniel holds his hand tight and open his mouth to say something Jisung lifts up from his chair and leaves the stage as fast as possible. Leaving the crowd and a confused Daniel behind.

He hears his name being called far away but his only brain cell was too busy trying to get away from that situation to care about it.

With long and rushed steps Jisung makes his way to out of the shopping center, his footsteps leading him to his own apartment that stayed just a few blocks from the where he was. As soon as he gets home he locks the door and buries himself on the couch. He turns on the TV and open the music app, playing a random song in the highest volume. Hoping it would be loud enough to shut his own thoughts.

It wasn’t though. His mind keeps racing, the same toxic thoughts and horrible scenarios going through his mind over and over again.

He tries to take a deep breath to try to start thinking straight.

Did Daniel find out about his feelings?

_Probably._

Will Daniel hate him because of this?

_He might._

What would happen to them after this?

_They’d be over._

He tried to shush such a terrible thought, but the fact Daniel didn’t run after him just reinforced his thinking.

Normally the blonde would be the first one to go after him after a fight, misunderstand or just when noticed that Jisung wasn’t acting like his usual self.

If he wasn’t there now it was only because he didn’t want to be.

And the only reason Jisung could think about was because Daniel didn’t want to see him.

“You’ve lost him, idiot.” He mutters to himself, a knot forming on his throat and a sickening feeling growing on his stomach.

It was over.

  


He starts to think about exactly when things started to go wrong. Was it when he said he loved Daniel? Thinking he wasn’t being obvious? Or was it earlier, when he agreed to join that stupid contest. Really, what he wasn’t expecting anyway? That they would answer questions about being a couple and then automatically go back to normal?

Or was it way before? Maybe things started to go wrong on that stupid day when Jisung realized his own feelings. He still remembers how he felt when the realization of his own feelings hit him right in the guts. How one day, when he looked at Daniel things just clicked, and everything suddenly made sense. It took him 4 years of friendship to realize that during all that time he was in love. And it was so abruptly and sudden that he couldn’t not panic with the news.

For the next week Jisung wouldn’t look Daniel in the face, too ashamed of his own feelings to talk to him, he felt like he was betraying their friendship for looking at Daniel with different eyes.

But it didn’t take long to the youngster to notice something was wrong though. Four days later Daniel started to follow him everywhere, asking what was wrong and why was Jisung avoiding him. That was actually the first time in years they’d fought. When Daniel asked once again what was wrong, Jisung finally exploded on him, yelled to Daniel go away because he didn’t want to talk to him at that moment, and when the youngster asked why Jisung almost told him the truth, that he couldn’t stay next to him without wanting to hug him, to kiss him, to fuck him until they faint from exhaustion and then cuddle with him for the rest of the day.

But of course he couldn’t, it was his best friend they were talking about, that was out of the options. Jisung said he was tired of him instead, that he needed a time for himself because he’d forgotten what it was like being a person of his own with Daniel always besides him. Told Daniel he was suffocating him.

Somehow, Daniel understood that, because for the next week the youngster didn’t show up at his flat, he gave Jisung the space the latter said he wanted. And for the first three days, Jisung believed that was what he needed. A time from Daniel so his feelings could go away, he tried to make himself believe that this was just a phase, that his feelings would vanish once he stayed away from Daniel for a while. But soon he noticed that things wasn’t this easy. He started to miss his friend. His jokes, his antics, his smiles. He missed simply talking to him about the weather. And that’s what made Jisung realize that his feelings wouldn’t go away that easily, and despite that, he couldn’t have Daniel out of his life. He had to deal with his feelings so he could have his best friend back.

And while he went to Daniel’s flat to ask the youngster to eat with him, Jisung made his mind: he would die with this secret, but he wouldn’t lose his best friend.

And when he remembers about the old vow he’s made to himself in the past, Jisung suddenly knows what he had to do. He had to talk to Daniel, fix things before it was too late. Maybe if he was convincing enough he could make Daniel believe he was just joking. He couldn’t lose him yet.

Drowned on his own thoughts, Jisung ends up falling asleep on his couch, his favorite song playing on the background as he eyelids falls heavy and his mind finally starts to settle.

  


It was hours later when Jisung wakes up to the sound of the TV. Now it wasn’t a song he heard but the voice of someone instead. He slowly opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is a blond head right in front of his face.

Daniel was sitting on the floor, his back bending on the couch as he watched a random show on TV. Jisung expected to be cold when he woke up, but he soon notices a warm blank covering his body, probably Daniel’s doing.

“Hey.” Jisung manages to say after a while, his voice sounding a little husky from god knows how many hours of sleep.

“Hey.” Daniel replies shortly, turning his head to give a quick glance at the man behind him. Jisung lifts his torso from the couch and lazily sits on his legs, the blanket that once covered his body now falling on his lap.

“How did you get in?” Jisung asks, he was 100% sure he’d locked the door earlier.

“You gave me, remember?” Daniel replies and Jisung observes him putting his hand inside his pocket to reveal a pair of keys he knew very well. Jisung holds the urge to roll his owns eyes at his stupidity. He’d forgotten he had given the keys to Daniel just months ago, too tired of having to open the door for him everyday he’d come.

“It’s late.” The latter says then, looking at the clock besides the TV that informed it was almost midnight.

“I was out.” The blonde informs in a low tone, his eyes now never leaving the front, apparently he was too interested on the TV show that was passing on the screen right now. Jisung was starting to feel uncomfortable at the lack of eye contact, but decides to not say anything. “Had to think about some stuff.”

“Oh.” That’s the only thing Jisung says, deciding not to ask anything further. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know about what Daniel was thinking and why it took him so long, too scared of what the subject might bring to the room.

But apparently Daniel had other plans.

“We need to talk, you know right?” He says, turning his head just enough to look at Jisung with the side of his eyes. And Jisung just think how stupid he was for thinking for one second this wasn’t coming. He knew they would have this conversation, he wanted to have this conversation, but not this soon.

“Yeah.” He replies weakly, adjusting himself on the sofa in a vain tentative of being comfortable despite the unsettling situation he encountered himself into.

The time has come, they needed to talk about the elephant in the room.

He wanted to stick with the plan of trying to convince the youngster he was lying, but it really didn’t take much to Jisung see that Daniel knew it all. The boy didn’t say anything but he could feel it.

He could feel it by his tone of voice and he could feel it by the way that since he came there he was avoiding Jisung’s eyes.

“Look Niel, I’m sorry. It was awkward right?” Jisung starts, referring to the whole situation earlier. He didn’t have courage to look at Daniel either and chose to stare his own legs while he talked. “I may had gone a little overboard at that last question. I didn’t mean to embarrass you, really.” He finishes, biting his lower lip, hating every second of that situation he’s found himself in.

“Were you lying, hyung?” Daniel asks, and he says it in such a low tone that Jisung almost didn’t catch. And that was the moment Jisung needed to come up with a big fat lie and deny everything. But somehow, he wasn’t able to come up with a story, and something in the air was telling him that Daniel’s question were more like a rhetorical one. Because he already knew everything, right?

“Does it matter now?” Jisung asks weakly to then raises his head, just enough to take a peak at Daniel’s face, he wanted to know what he was thinking, and the blonde’s face never failed on telling Jisung that.

But Daniel’s back was still the only thing he could see and that was starting to really frustrate the latter. But then, just like he was reading his mind Daniel takes a deep breath and turns his body to Jisung, finally fully looking at him. And on the contrary of what he’d thought, Jisung could’t read Daniel at all, the blonde was wearing an expression Jisung had never seen on his face before.

He looked almost...nervous?

“Hyung I...” He starts, his hand raising just enough to rest on Jisung’s knee and the latter tries not to flinch at how cold the touch felt on his skin. “When I asked you to join that contest with me today I only did it because I thought it was going to be fun you know?”

 _Oh_. _Here comes rejection._ Jisung thinks for himself, and the pain that comes with it it’s worse than he prepared for. He takes a long breath, trying to calm his heart who was stubbornly beating fast, and there was this unsettling sensation on his stomach that was making him want to throw up.

He knew it was coming, so why did still hurt?

“But hyung.” Daniel continues unaware of the latter’s thoughts, lifting his head to look at Jisung, his eyes glowing with something the latter couldn’t read. “At some point, while answering those questions, I noticed something and then this thing clicked on my mind, and somehow everything made sense.” He finishes and that was enough to Jisung confirm one more time that Daniel definitely knew about his feelings.

“What?” Jisung asks suddenly, just wanting this to end so he could go to his room and cry.At his question Jisung feels the hold on his knee tightening, he then looks at Daniel again and realizes that the youngster ear’s were bright red.

That just confuses Jisung’s mind.

He was going to reject Jisung’s feelings, why the hell was Daniel blushing for?

“Jisung hyung.” Daniel almost whispers, his head raised just enough to look up to the man above him on the couch, he bites his lower lip and takes a deep breath before saying “I think I’m in love with you.”

And really, out of the thousands scenarios Jisung imagined that day, that was the only one he didn’t expect to happen.

He expected Daniel to scream at him. He expected Daniel to be disappointed with him. In the best case scenario he expected Daniel to politely reject him and pretend nothing ever happened after.

But confess to him? Not even on his wildest dreams.

And because of this the only thing he could do is laugh. He first releases a repressed huff and seconds later it becomes a huge laugh. Jisung laughs, out and loud.

Because he’d spent the last few minutes preparing himself to being rejected. But instead here was Daniel, right in front of him, blushing and looking hella nervous (now Jisung could see it). All this while _confessing_ to him. The blonde looked so apprehensive, almost like he was the one who were going to be rejected. Like he didn’t know about Jisung’s feelings for him.

This made no sense at all and he knew he probably looked like a lunatic right now, cracking up at a confession, but the whole situation was so unpredictable to him that he couldn’t stop himself but laugh. Really, what could he expect from Daniel? That boy was full of surprises. He never ceased to amaze him.

“Don’t laugh, I’m serious here.” He hears the youngster speaking, in that tone of voice he only used when he was whether mad or dead serious. Jisung stops laughing immediately, realizing what his laugh could make Daniel think. He wasn’t laugh _at_ Daniel, he could never do that.

He looks at the boy in front of him and tries to think about what he has done in the past few hours, how many thinking he’d done and how much courage he’d collected to come here and do what Jisung weren’t able to do for the past years. A rush of affection and pure love hit Jisung hard with that thought. Daniel was so fucking brave that made Jisung just want to kiss him senseless.

He doesn’t though. Instead, he takes the hand that was resting on his knee and intertwine it on his own. He tries to hold the urge to kiss him again when he sees the way Daniel’s eyes widen at the action.

“You have no idea do you?” Jisung asks and Daniel just arches his two brows at him, looking rather confused and making Jisung had to hold a laugh again. “I knew you were oblivious, but not this much, oh my god.”

“You know, I didn’t come here to be insulted.” Daniel protests, rolling his eyes and cutely scrunching his noise. At that image Jisung can’t help but smile brightly.

“I wasn’t really lying, you know?” Jisung says with the stupidest grin on his lips. His heart still racing like crazy, but this time not because of the prospective of the rejection, but the absence of it. “I love you, Niel-ah.”

“Oh.” Daniel responds, suddenly lifting from the ground to sit besides Jisung in the couch, his hand never leaving Jisung’s hold. Once he’s seated besides the latter, Daniel looks at Jisung with the shiniest eyes and a smile just as stupid as Jisung’s. “You do?”

“Yep.” Jisung says, still not able to hold his grin and when Daniel suddenly releases a repressed laugh, he can’t stop himself but laugh together with him.

“Shit, this was easier than I thought.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I was prepared to give you whole ass list with reasons to prove you how we could be better as being more than friends.” Daniel claims, the usual pout on his lips showing how serious he was. Jisung huffs in response, finding the entire situation hard to believe.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know about it, Daniel.”

“I didn’t! Well, I knew you loved me, of course. But like this? Never crossed my mind. Until today.”

“You really are denser than I thought.”

“Perhaps I am.” Daniel jokes and once again Jisung laughs out loud, and the sound of Daniel laughing with him is like song to his ears.

They keep giggling like idiots for a long time, laughing at Daniel’s density, their own stupidity and at how strange yet amazing situation they encountered themselves is. After some minutes, the laughing vanishes from the room, and they just keeping looking at each other, as if they were making sure that they were really there.

It was Daniel who decides to break the silence.

“Does that mean I can kiss you now?” The blonde says after a beat, his eyes alternating between looking Jisung in the eyes and staring his lips.

“Do you want to?” Jisung asks, for some reason whispering. His tongue unconsciously licking his own lips, action that catches Daniel’s attention because this time the blonde takes more time glaring the latter’s wet mouth.

“That’s actually the only thing I’m thinking about since I arrived here.” Daniel confess, and Jisung sees himself moving his head closer to Daniel’s, his heart beating so fast that he was sure Daniel could hear it.

“Are you sure about this?” Jisung asks hesitantly, his lips just centimeters away from the blonde’s. His eyes completely focused on the youngster plump lips. “I don’t think we can go back if we do this.”

“I don’t want to go back.” Daniel says in a rush before grabbing Jisung’s neck and clashing their mouths together.

The kiss was rushed and desperate, their mouth messily moving together trying to find the best angle to get more contact. Daniel slowly asks permission with his tongue to deepen the kiss and Jisung slight separates his lips to give the blonde the space he wanted.

Daniel tasted like strawberry and gummy bear and for one second Jisung worries for his own sanity, because such a sweet kiss could easily get him addicted. He raises his arms to rest it on Daniel’s shoulders as he feels the other hands lowing down to his torso and just like this Jisung let himself melt on the other touch, Daniel’s warm hands and the scent of his cheap soup intoxicating the latter’s senses. It was a perfect mess and Jisung didn’t want to ever stop.

That’s why they kept like that until their lips starts to feel numb and the room starst to feel to hot for them to bear.

“So did you get the prize?” Jisung asks later when they finally separate, a mocking grin adorning his lips as he rest his forehead on Daniel’s.

“Well, my _boyfriend_ ran away so they didn’t let me take it.” Daniel replies, playfully pinching Jisung’s sides, making the latter retracts from his touch and laughs in delight. “But we can try another time, don’t worry.” He finishes with a smile before cupping Jisung’s cheeks and giving a quick peck on the top of his nose.

  


Next year, they indeed tried again, and with a perfect score they finally got the prize.

  


And this time, they didn’t had to pretend at all.

**Author's Note:**

> that's it!  
> most of the questions and answers are based on nielsung moments, were you guys able to spot them? tell me in the comments!  
> and im sorry for the rushed end, i suck at these çsdhkhrskldh  
> im also on twitter, so if you want to follow or talk to me you can go there : @yjisunshines  
> so thank u for reading, be nice on the comments and leave kudos!


End file.
